Classics:Sophisticated Rapping

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Capitalizations have been intentionally left as they are, for the intended effect.

1984

<poem> Yo, this is a story all about how, Society got flip turned upside down. So why don't you serve they party and just sit right there, And I'll tell you how I came to love Big Broth-air.

In Airstrip One born and raised, In Minitrue was where i spent most of my days, Avoiding uprisings, revisin' all of the time, Learnin' some Newspeak from my good buddy Syme. When this one little girl, Who was doubleplusungood Started havin' sex out in the countryside. We had a couple a' fucks and Julia gets scared She said We gotta find a place run by Proles to ride.

Upper class, yo, this is bad - drinkin' red wine out of a champaine glass Is this what the people of the Inner Party live like? Hmm this might be alright! But wait, I'm hearin' stuff from O'Brien, Is this the kinda place I should join the Brotherhood? Well I sure hope so, hope Goldstien get's here Prepared to acid babies, got no love for Broth-air.

Heard the whistle of a rocket And when it came near The Thinkpol said duck! and it blew some proles in the air, If anything, they could say Eurasia - fear! But I thought 'Nah, forget it, pro'lly done by Broth-air

I tried to count all his fingers, 'bout four or five, And i yelled Yo, kill Julia, just leave me alive! Then I was down with the Ingsoc I was finally there To think War is Peace, cos I love the Broth-air. </poem>

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

<poem> IF YOU HAVIN HULL PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BREACH AIN'T ONE

I GOT THE SUB CONTROLLED HELLA LEAGUES BELOW FOOLS THAT WANNA SINK MY SUBMERGIBLE HO'S LINCON'S DECK SWABBIN POOP AND THOSE DON'T WANNA PAY MY RANSOM? I JUST HIT A SHIP SO.......... THEY GET TO YACKIN ACTIN LIKE I AINT A CAPTAIN DROP EM IN THE SEA SEE WHO END UP LAUGHIN BEING NEMO ON THE SEAS IS FUN I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BREACH AINT ONE HIT ME </poem>

Achilles

<poem> WITH SO MUCH DRAMA IN ANTIQUITY ITS KINDA HARD BEIN ACHI-DOUBLE L ES BUT I, SOMEHOW, SOME WAY KEEP KILLIN FOOLS IN FUNKY ASS BATTLES LIKE EVERY SINGLE DAY MAY I, KICK A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE ACHE-ANS DIPPED INTO STYX AS I BREEZE, THROUGH TWO HUNDRED SOLDIERS AND THE TROJANS STILL DYIN TILL THAT HECTOR IS GONE AMAZONS ARE IN THE LIVING ROOM GETTIN IT ON AND, THEY AINT LEAVIN TIL THEIR QUEEN'S DEAD AND MOURNIN (QUEEN'S DEAD AND MOURNIN) SO WHAT YOU WANNA DO, SHEEEIT I GOT A QUIVVER FULL OF ARROWS AND MY HOMEBOYS SHEILD TOO SO PUT OUT YOUR TORCH AND CLOSE THE DOORS BUT (BUT WHAT) WE DON’T LOVE THEM TROJAN HOES, YEAH! WE SMOKIN WITH ANTILOCHUS ACH-ES UP, TRO’S DOWN, WHILE YOU HOMERFUCKERS PROSE TO THIS </poem>

Brave New World

<poem> I GOT A REAL FUNNY FEELING ABOUT ALL THIS JUNK MOST PEOPLE BE TRIPPIN BUT IM IN A FUNK CAN'T STAND THE FEELIES BUT MY NIGGAS DON'T JIVE THEY JUST POP A GRAM OF SOMA GET PELICAN FLY

SO I GET IN MY COPTER AND PICK UP MY BEEZY SHE'S A FUCKING DUNCE BUT HER COOTER IS EASY I JUST GOT TO ESCAPE FROM IT ALL GO SOME PLACE WHERE ITS OKAY IF YOU AINT THAT TALL OR IF A NIGGA WAS BOTTLED WITH ALCOHOL

TO THE RESERVATION! WHERE I MEET THAT SAV DUDES GOT A MOTHER FUCK GROSS I KNOW RITE? BUT I GETS TO THINKIN AND IT MAKES TO MUCH SENSE MY BOSS GOT SOME DEMONS FROM HIS LAST TRIP TO THE FENCE ILL BRING THIS NIGGA BACK THEN I'LL GET MY RESPECT LETS SEE YOU LAUGH NOW FUCK YOUR KING IS CHECKED BUT SOMETHING A-HAPPENED I DID NOT EXPECT

THE SAV HE READS SHAKESPEARE AND LIKES BEIN DURTY HATES THIS SOCIETY WHERE EV'THINGS SO PURTY CANTS STAND IT, GOES CRAZY, DERANGING WONT FUCK THIS CUNT THO SHE'S TOTALLY BANGIN ONE MONTH LATER FROM A ROPE HE BE HANGI </poem>

Calvino

<poem> I'M SORRY DID I STUTTER CITIES FLASHIN' LIKE A CAMERA SHUTTER ACID TRIP IN WHICH YOU SLIP DIP INSIDE CONSCIOUS CONCLUSION ARTISTIC CONFUSION AN' ILLUSION KUBLAI KHAN AN' MARCO POLO LIKE CHEWBACCA AN' HAN SOLO MAN, THE CITY IS YOU AND YOU ARE THE CITY STILL WIT' ME, SUCH A PITY OPEN YOUR EARS TO HEAR ANOTHER DITTY INVISIBLE CITY SO PRETTY COME TO ME IN A VISION SO SURREAL WHAT'S THE DEAL? IS THIS DREAM OR IS THIS REAL? CAN WE FEEL, STEAL EMOTION AN' THOUGHT AS I GOT WHAT I GOT WHICH REALLY AIN'T ALOT READ THE CITY LIKE A RORSCHACH BLOT

REPPIN' VENICE YO! CALVINO OUT </poem>

Crime and Punishment

<poem> ALLOW ME TO RE-INTRODUCE MYSELF MY NAME IS RASK', OLNI, K-TO-THE-O-V I USED TO KILL BITCHES FOR THE MON-EY I GUESS EVEN BACK THEN YOU CAN CALL ME RODION CAUSE THERE AIN'T NO KO-V FRESH OUT OF SCHOOL AND LIVING ALONE I BE THE, NAPOLEAN AND NOT A DRONE FLYER THAN GOD IS WHAT I I DESIRE GOT THE HOTTEST INSPECTOR WHO CHASIN' MY NAME, THAT'S RIGHT! THIS AIN'T A MOVIE DOG (OH SHIT) </poem>

Dune

<poem> FIRST OFF I KILLED YOUR SARDUKAR IN THE PLANET YOU CLAIM ATREIDES HOUSE NIGGA, COME EQUIP WITH GAME YOU CLAIM TO BE A RULER BUT I STOLE YOUR SPICE LETTIN FREMEN TEACH ME BY NIGHT PLUS RABBAN TRYIN TO CATCH ME BUT HIS FORCES I RIP HOUSE HARKONNEN AND THE EMPORER SHALL FEAR MAUD'DIB WE KEEP ON COMIN STEADY GUNNIN BOUT TO RULE SO BARON DONT YOU ACT LIKE A FOOL NOW ITS ALL ABOUT ATREIDES YOU TRIED BURY MY HOUSE GOT THE FREMEN ON MY SIDE YOU GON FEAR THE MOUSE STEADY RECRUITING AN ARMY CHANGIN THE PLANET DUNE WITH THE FREMEN ON MY SIDE YOUR FUTURE IS DOOM!

SO TURN ON YOUR SHEILDS WHEN YOU SEE MAUD'DIB CALL YOUR SARDUKAR WHEN YOU SEE MAUD'DIB TRIED TO KILL ME BUT YOU PUNK DIDNT FINISH NOW YOU BOUT TO FEEL THE RATH OF A MENACE NIGGA WE HIT EM UP! </poem>

Ender's Game

<poem> JUST WAKING UP IN THE MORNING GOTTA THANK GOD I DON'T KNOW BUT TODAY SEEMS KINDA ODD NO BUGGERS IN THE LOGS, PETER GONE AND MOMMA COOKED A BREAKFAST WITH NO HOG I GOT MY GRUB ON, IT’S HOW I GOTTA START OUT FINALLY SAW THE COLONEL FROM THE FLEET THAT’S FAR OUT HOOKED IT UP WIT HIM LATER AS I HIT THE DO' THINKING WILL I LIVE, TO DOMINATE THE BATTLE FLO’ I GOTTA GO CAUSE I GOT ME A LAUNCH SPOT AND IF THE KIDS ARE BITCH, ENDER MAKE THEIR ASS DROP HAD TO TALK TO DAP AFTER A FIGHT LOOKING AT MY SCORES CLOWNIN ALL THE KIDS IN SIGHT AND EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT I GOT A MESSAGE FROM VAL AND SHE DEMONTHESES LIKE ALL NIGHT CALLED UP THE HOMIES AND I'M ASKIN Y'ALL WHICH GAME, ARE Y'ALL JUMPIN OFF-A WALLS? GET ME ON THE SIM AND I'M TROUBLE LAST WEEK FUCKED AROUND BURSTED BONZO'S BUBBLE FREAKING BUGGAZ EVERYWAY LIKE RACK MAZE I CAN'T BELIEVE, TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY </poem>

Lovecraft

<poem> IF YOU HAVIN MIND PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A NIGGER-MAN AIN'T ONE

I GOT THE GRIMOIRE FROM THAT MAD ARAB GUY FOOLS THAT WANNA SUMMON MY OLD ONES HO'S ANCIENT GODS CHANTING SHITAND THOSE DON'T WANNA RECITE MY SPELLS? I JUST WOKE A CTHULHU SO.......... THEY GET TO YACKIN ACTIN LIKE I AINT A KRAKEN DROP EM IN THE GULF SEE WHO END UP LAUGHIN BEING INSANE UNDERGROUND IS FUN I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A NIGGER MAN AINT ONE HIT ME </poem>

Macbeth

<poem> GET OUT THE WAY YO GET OUT THE WAY YO DUNCAN DONE JUST GOT DROPPED LITTLE MOVE PASSED THE MAC AND THEN HE HIT 'EM IN HIS BACK BANQUO NEEDS TO GET SPANKED RIGHT FOR SETTING UP TRAPS LITTLE ACCIDENT MURDERERS AND NOW I'M KILLIN SERVANTS TOO POISE LESS MACBETH ATTACK WHEN I'M SERVING YOU SPANK THE SHANK THY LADY MACDUFF WHEN I GANK GUARD YOUR RANK AT FORRES I SLAM KING DUNKIN IN A TANK WITCHES WEAKER THAN THEIR EYE O NEWT I'M RUNNING THROUGH NIGGA AND I'M SMOKING FRUITLESS CROWN TALKAS IN FRONT OF YOU NIGGA WITH THE READY DAGGER POWER TUCKED IN MY TIGHTS UNDER MY LEATHER ARMOUR YOUR CLOUT PETTY SOUR I PUSH PACKAGES EVER HOUR I HIT 'EM UP

TAKE SCOTLAND TAKE SCOTLAND </poem>

Machiavelli

<poem> TO THE WINDFALLS, TO THE WARS RUN THE SHOW FROM BEHIND THEM WALLS ALL THESE PRINCES BRAWL AAAAAHHH STATE-CRAFT MUH'FUCKA AAAAAHHH STATE-CRAFT GODDAMN </poem>

Marx

<poem> PROLETARIANS, CLASS FEELIN REBELLIOUS EMBARRASSED THEIR BOSSES BE TAXIN' THEM SENSELESS THEY START FEELIN' ALIENATED, HELPLESS 'TIL SOMEONE COMES ALONG WITH A VISION AND YELLS BITCH!!! AN AGITATOR, CLASS COMPLICATOR COULD START A REVOLUTION, POLLUTIN THE STATE, YO! A REBEL, SO JUST LET ME REVEL AND BASK IN THE FACT THAT I GOT EVERYONE READIN MY DAS [KAPITOL] AND IT'S A DISASTER, SUCH A CATASTROPHE FOR YOU TO READ SO DAMN MUCH OF MY ADS; YOU ASKED FOR ME? WELL I'M BACK, NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA {*BZZT* FIX YOUR WAGE DILEMMA SHARE IT IN AND THEN I'M GONNA ENTER IN, OVERTHROWIN THE SYSTEM LIKE A SPLINTER THE CENTRALISED ECONOMY, PLAN FOR THE WINNER I'M INTERESTING, THE BEST THING TRANSGRESSING INFESTING IN LOWER CLASSES EARS AND NESTING {*BZZT* TESTING, ATTENTION PLEASE FEEL THE TENSION, SOON AS SOMEONE MENTIONS ME HERE'S MY TEN POINTS, MY TRUE IS FREE A NUISANCE, WHO SENT? YOU SENT FOR ME? </poem>

Metamorphosis

<poem> WAKE UP, STILL IN MY BED UNSETTLIN' DREAMS STILL SWIRLIN IN MY HEAD I LOOK A LOT LIKE A BIG FLEA DEAR GOD, A VERMIN IS NOW ME I'M ONLY 19 SO I'M A YOUNG BUG IT'S NOT RIGHT, I'M IN A HOLE SOMEONE ELSE DUG BUT THAT'S MY LIFE NOW AS MR. GS GRETE PROTECTS ME, TRYIN' HER BEST </poem>

Moby Dick

<poem> DON'T CALL IT A HUMPBACK I'LL HUNT HIM FOR YEARS THROWIN' MY SPEARS PUTTIN' STARBUCK IN FEAR FIRST ONE TO SPOT HIM GETS A GOLD DUB-LOON STICK HIM WITH MY SHARP HARPOON TOOK MY LEG LIKE IT WAS NOTHIN' NOW FOR THE WHITE WHALE, I'M HUNTIN' WAVES CRASH WHY I HUNT HIM IS FOR REVENGE AND NOT FOR CASH COMIN' DOWN FAST YOU BETTA RUN DON'T EVEN ASK ME FOR MERCY WON'T STOP 'TIL HE'S SLICED AND DICED MOBY DICK'LL BE PAYIN' THE PRICE I'M GONNA HUNT HIM DOWN MAMA SAID HUNT HIM DOWN I'M GONNA HUNT HIM DOWN MAMA SAID HUNT HIM DOWN I'M GONNA HUNT HIM DOWN MAMA SAID HUNT HIM DOWN I'M GONNA HUNT HIM DOWN MAMA SAID HUNT HIM DOWN </poem>

On the Road

<poem> he said i live what i see writin' bout my life with dean the moriarty i like to drive at night sea to shining sea quite the fast life so high and maybe free

see now you can still live like that though i wonder where the girl that i'll love is at? god leads

filling up notebooks until he gets sick gets lonely gets mexico heat that's a body that's weak from the whores last week 'cause his buddies in the city was like that's what we need a coked-up merengue brothel in the jungle 50s with a screwed up good that went WE KNOW TIME something something something WE KNOW TIME a love that wasn't WE KNOW TIME he couldn't say nothin WE KNOW TIME he turns down the street his life is the seed moaning in the next room a writer in need of some wine and some whiskey and a place to sleep that plus a hundred friends who will OD is what keep him on the track to be the king of the beats </poem>

The Dharma Bums

<poem> live with his mom so he rides them trains sixty thousand miles in as many days WE KNOW TIME is all dean ever says editor tried to cut it out said it just wouldn't play

poets in frisco quick got sold sexed beat boy with a beat boy prose flow like whitman you should see the boy go got a daddy dead forever and a mother in tow a brother in the grave jesus disappeared in a marijuana haze diamond sutra gives his soul what it craves

livin with a buddhist who he really had to honor cause he was his biggest fan so to the peak he wandered climbed up the cliffs went to open up his future then to desolation peak told him that when he's done he's gonna be a whole new man finally be his father's son be the angel-souled writer, himself, the one. </poem>

The Old Man and the Sea

<poem> DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK I'VE BEEN FISHING FOR YEARS AIN'T CAUGHT SHIT FOR DAYS FULL OF HUNGER AND FEAR GO OUT TO SEA, LEAVE THE BOY GEHIND HOPE HE HAS MORE LUCK THAN MINE EXPLOSION! OVERPOWERIN! MY LINE GOT BIT BY A HUGE MARLIN DRAGGED MY BOAT, HOPE I FLOAT, I HELD HIM ALL NIGHT WITH A LUMP IN MY THROAT HAD SOME STRANGE DREAMS ABOUT ARM WRESTLING AND OTHER MANLY THEMES ON MY WAY BACK SHARKS ATTACKED ME I BEAT 'EM UP WITH SOME DEBRIS

I'M GONNA CATCH THAT FISH (UUH) MAMMA SAID CATCH THAT FISH (UUH) I'M GONNA CATCH THAT FISH (UUH) MAMMA SAID CATCH THAT FISH (UUH) I'M GONNA CATCH THAT FISH (UUH) MAMMA SAID CATCH THAT FISH (UUH) I'M GONNA CATCH THAT FISH (UUH) MAMMA SAID CATCH THAT FISH (UUH) </poem>